So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
