there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
