You're so nebulous sometimes
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
