rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
