I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
