woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
