The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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