awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
