so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
