I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
