dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize