I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
