Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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