im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
