Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
