also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
