I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
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