i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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