"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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