you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
be right there i have to get my cape
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
