walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
