i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
