Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
