I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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