Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
