break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
