Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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