Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize