I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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