I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
