hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
