can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
