haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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