i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
