Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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