oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Randomize
