I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
