Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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