Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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