I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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