Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
If I die, sorry about rent.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
