I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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