There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Randomize
