I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
