I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The uberlube is also flammable
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
