Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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