If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Mom said you looked used
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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