im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
operation harelip BJ is a go
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
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