dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Randomize
