just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
