after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
