so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
