I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
