Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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