what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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