Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
