i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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