are you so shy because you have an std?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
