we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
