I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You pole danced in your parka.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
