Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
