she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
he wants to bone in the snuggie
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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