i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
