omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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