you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
